Today was not what we expected for the day.
I went home for the night and as we were coming up Joel sent me an update from the doctor this morning at 8:45am...
"They had to up his oxygen last night and also his blood pressure is back down again. Urine output is real low so they gave him medicine to help with peeing and also gave him a catheter to try and keep track of his urine output. They don't think he's feeling well so they also gave him different antibiotics. His belly is looking a little discolored (yellowish) so hopefully they other corrections will fix that too. They also did a chest x-ray and they weren't as good as the ones from yesterday. Belly might be filling back up again from the sounds of it."
At about 9:10am I get another update...
"Just did an x-ray of his abdomen to see if they can see what may be causing these issues. They found air in his belly but outside his intestines. Sounds like they might put a tube in his belly to release the air."
As soon as I get to the hospital around 9:30am Joel meets me out in the hall to tell me they are going to do a procedure today where they place a tube in his belly to release the air. I go right in to see Jonah. There are a ton of doctors in and out of his room but we were able to come and sit next to him. At this point I needed to go pump so I went in another room to do that.
At about 10:00am Joel texted me saying to get out here now because they were about to start. I quit what I'm doing and quickly get out there. I don't even get to go in his room. Joel was standing outside his room and tells me it's a lot worse than they thought and it's not looking good. They were doing the emergency procedure right now. We were then taken to a conference room right next to his room where we are suppose to wait.
At 10:15am the nurse came in to let us know the doctors started and it could take about 15-20 minutes. It was about that much time when the doctors came in to tell us they got the tube in and a lot of stool and fluid came out. This tube would stay in and continue to drain. They would need to do another procedure but they wouldn't be able to do that until tomorrow morning. So we need to wait and see if his heart can take what's happening to him now.
They brought our family back to the room but around 10:40am they let us go back to him. We walk in and he was bagged, which is where a doctor is pumping the oxygen for him to breathe, and they are standing around watching his heart rate. The doctor had told us if his heart rate got below 60 is when they would start chest compressions and he didn't feel like it would help Jonah and that he shouldn't be put through that. At this point they had already given him all of the medication they could give to help his heart. We were able to stick our hands in and touch his head and hold his hand. They tried putting him on the oscillator and then tried the ventilator but neither worked. So they continued pumping the air by hand. They gave him blood and some other things and after that his heart rate was brought back up so they were finally able to put him on the oscillator.
He finally was stable and everyone cleared out and we were able to sit next to him. They kept him closed in so his body temperature could be kept warm. We just sat praying over our strong little boy. We sat staring at his heart rate.
Eventually his heart rate started to drop again. The nurse came in and hooked up more blood to give him in over an hour. But his heart rate just continued to dropped so the doctors ended up coming back in and they bagged him again. We were able to go back to holding his hand and putting our hand around his head. They ended up pushing the blood in faster and gave him another thing as well. But his heart rate was not going up.
It wasn't very long when the doctor came over and put his arms on our shoulders. I knew what he was going to say but I just didn't want to hear it. He told us it was that time to bring in a chair where they would pull him out and let us hold him for the last few minutes of his life. We were completely heart broken.
They placed him in my arms, that sweet bundle of joy. They pulled the tube out of his throat and pulled off the sticky things on his cheeks holding the tube in. His poor cheeks looked bruised from where it was stuck. We sat holding Jonah and loving on him while he passed away. Our parents were out in the hallway and able to watch as he was sent to heaven at 1:51pm.
They eventually unhooked him from all of the cords and told us we could take our time holding onto him. We were so blessed to have an entire week with our sweet, precious Jonah. The greatest week to be blessed with. I only wish it could have been longer.
We let family come in and hold him and love on him. The nurses then let us take footprints and handprints of Jonah. Joel and I were able to give him his first bath, change his diaper, and dress him in an outfit that the nurses gave us. The sleeper was huge but fit perfectly because it said "My Hero." He truly was our little hero.
Then they took us all up to the garden on the roof and I was able to carry him all the way there. The nurses took pictures of all of us with Jonah. Liam finally was able to meet his little brother. As they wouldn't let him in the NICU because he was under two. We were able to stay outside for awhile and let Jonah have some sunshine on him. Joel was able to carry him all the way back to the room.
We stayed in the room holding, staring, loving, hugging, and kissing our sweet baby boy.
We hated more than anything having to leave him behind but we know that he is in a much better place than this world. Jonah is up there with his brother or sister right now. We have two beautiful angels watching over us. We will see them again some day.
We love you to the moon and back Jonah Donovan Naylor.
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